My Favorite Missionary

Today, I’d like to share a story with you.  The story of my favorite missionary.   I don’t know that I ever knew a missionary personally when I was kid.  I heard lots of stories about them from the likes of Jim Elliot and others.  My story today, though, is about a missionary I knew personally.  Now, if you had known her, you may not think of her as a missionary, but believe me she was.  When I was about 11, my parents planted a church.  Well, that’s what we call it now, then my dad called it, “starting a new work.”  As this church started to grow, lots of new families joined us.  One family that joined us were the Murrays.  I could tell countless stories of this family and their impact on my life, but today is Margaret’s story.  Margaret was in her 20s or so when I met her.  We became friends, that may seem odd to you that an 11 year old and a twenty-something would be friends.  But, see, Margaret wasn’t your average twenty-something, she had been born with some health challenges, hydrocephalus I believe, and her intellectual/emotional functioning level was about 10.  

Margaret was kind.  Compassionate.  Loved by all she met, and loved everyone she met.  She was special in the best kind of way.  As things happened, I continued to grow and mature, but Margaret stayed about 10.  I went away to college, got married, but Margaret stayed her kind and innocent self.  

She did some maturing though, she learned to drive, she got a job.  She was making great strides into independence.  She helped take care of her mother who had the debilitating disease of Multiple Sclerosis.  Margaret also got saved.  She accepted Jesus as her savior and was baptized by my dad.  We were all so proud of Margaret.  Then one day, her progress came to a halt.  

I’m not really sure what happened.  I was away at college.  But my mom called one day and said Margaret is very sick.  There were countless tests run, countless doctors brought it.  I never did get a clear diagnosis.  All I know is I went to see Margaret when I came home from break and she just wasn’t the same.  Walking and talking had become difficult.  She could no longer take care of herself.  Then, I heard she couldn’t feed herself.  She was declining so fast, but they really weren’t sure why.  

Mr. and Mrs. Murray (Margaret’s parents) had to make the challenging decision to place her in a care facility as Mr. Murray couldn’t care for her and Mrs. Murray by himself.  Margaret had to have a feeding tube and other things, just to keep her alive.  Everyday her parents went to see her.  They would sit by her bed and talk and simply be present.  They would watch Gaither Homecoming Videos with her as this brought peace and comfort to them all.  At the same time of Margaret’s significant decline, her mother was declining as well.  The Murrays could no longer come to church, so my dad brought church to them.  Once a week, my dad took a message to the care facility and shared it with the 3 of them.  One day we were visiting and noticed that Margaret had the same question for any person that entered her room. 

 “Do you know my Jesus?” she asked.  

Every person Margaret encountered she asked that question.  “Do you know my Jesus?” Margaret became the teacher to all of us in that moment.  She taught us that the most important question you can ask someone is “Do you know my Jesus?”  Margaret had experienced the joy of salvation.  The peace of God’s transformative power.  Margaret had come to know Jesus in a real and intimate way and she wanted others too as well.  

So today, I want you to know 2 things that are not required to be a missionary and 2 things that are.  Let’s start with what’s not required.  

  1. Ability
  2. Location

Often, we have this idea about missionaries.  They’re the young people that travel the world spreading the gospel.  They can walk and get around easily.  They have lots of energy.  They can endure physical hardships.  But that’s not the case.  Margaret taught me that even laying in a bed with a feeding tube, you can still be a missionary.  All you have to do is ask the question, “Do you know my Jesus?”

The other is location.  We often think of missionaries as those who go to foreign countries and different cultures.  We don’t really talk about being a missionary where you are.  Margaret taught me location doesn’t matter.  Margaret stayed in that care facility until she went home to be with the Lord.  But the confines of her bed or wheelchair didn’t mean anything.  She asked every person she encountered, “Do you know my Jesus?” and she was always ready to tell them about Jesus.  She was ready to tell them what the Lord had done in her life. 

So, no matter your ability or your location, you can still be a missionary.  You can still spread the gospel to whoever you encounter.  

Now, the 2 things that are required. 

  1. Love the Lord
  2. Willingness to share

You must have a love for the Lord.  Love him with your whole heart, mind, soul, everything you have.  

You must be willing.  It’s not always easy.  A willing heart is a necessity.  Willing to tell people about your Jesus.  What’s he’s done for you.  What he’s brought you through.  How you’ve seen him.  You must be willing to share.  

Margaret became quite well known at her care facility.  Kindness does that.  It has a tendency to make you known.  So much so that one of her nurses posted a sign on her door that said, “Do you know my Jesus?” I guess as a preparation for what you would be asked when you entered her room.  

When Margaret died, it was a harsh blow to her family, our church, and to those who had lived and worked with Margaret at her care facility.  

I have this picture in my head of when Margaret got to heaven being somewhat like Mary Magdalene when Jesus appeared to her in the garden after his resurrection.  I’m pretty sure ran and jumped into his arms and said, “My Jesus!” because that’s who he was.  He was hers.  He was her friend.  He was her savior.  

I don’t have any statistics for you today on how many she won to the Lord.  I don’t think it matters.  I do know that my dad taught her an old song written by Vep Ellis with her question as the title, “Do You Know My Jesus?”

It goes…

Have you a heart that’s weary

Tending a load of care?

Are you a soul that’s seeking

Rest from the burden you bear?

Do you know (Do you know) my Jesus?

Do you know (Do you know) my Friend?

Have you heard He loves you?

And that He will abide ’til the end?

Who knows your disappointments?

Who hears each time you cry?

Who understands your heartaches?

Who dries the tears from your eyes?

Do you know (Do you know) my Jesus?

Do you know (Do you know) my Friend?

Have you heard He loves you?

And that He will abide ’til the end?

Have you heard He loves you?

And that He will abide ’til the end?

Remember, ability and location don’t matter, love of God and willingness do.  May we all be good missionaries, just like Margaret. 

Summer Reading

Every summer of my high school career I was assigned at least 2 books for summer reading. I attended a rather large public high school in the Orlando area.  The reason the “public” part is important is that I attended private Christian school Kindergarten through 8th grade.  The summer before my freshman year of high school, my dad decided to do some summer reading assigning himself.  The summer I was 14, my dad went searching his office at the church for my assignment from him.  

As I was laying by our pool, my dad came out with my assignment.  “This is something I want you to read this summer.  I think it will really help you as you start high school in August.”  Now, I’ve always been semi-academic, so I was hoping for a really good piece of historical fiction.  I was partly right, but it was much more than that.  I get out of the pool and my dad hands me a very worn and faded copy of “In His Steps” by Charles Sheldon.  I was pretty disappointed.  The title sounded like some devotional you would find on the shelf at Family Christian Bookstore.  

My dad went on to say, “the main character’s name is Rachel, when your mama wanted to name you Rachael, I agreed because I always liked the Rachel in this book.”  (The story on how I got the spelling of my name will come in a different blog).  So, of course this being my namesake, my interest was piqued.  

That evening I started my journey with the characters in that little town of Raymond.  It wasn’t at all what I expected.  It was way more than I had bargained for.  I finished the book in 3 days.  My poor dad…. The questions that I had over the next few weeks were varied and a lot.  I had so many questions of why?  Is that what we’re “supposed” to do?  We spent a lot of time discussing those who took the journey  of “what would Jesus do?”  that was posed by Henry Maxwell, the pastor of the little church in Raymond.  

Later that summer, I took the very giant steps of faith out of the row of chairs in our very small church and made a commitment.  See, I had accepted Jesus in my heart at the ripe old age of 6.  I’d gone to Christian school.  I’d been the pastor’s kid that helped with VBS and nursery and anything else that was required of the pastor’s family.  But that day, shortly after I’d embarked on my public education, I knew it was time to make a commitment.  I knew that the words of Sheldon would forever echo in my head, “what would Jesus do?”  I was certain it was time to start living a life that would reflect that question.  

However, I was a teeanger.  I was not perfect.  I stumbled and limped my way through high school as far as being a shining example of some Christian exemplar.  But I stood firm in my faith.  I, as Paul says in Ephesians, took up my shield of faith against the fiery darts of the wicked. By the time I was 18, I knew who I was and whose I was in the faith.  I was not only imago dei (made in the image of God), I was imitatio dei (imitator of God).  

As I reflect on that summer before high school, I see the real value in relationships with my kids.  My dad wasn’t an authoritarian that was “making” me read something.  He wasn’t  telling me to do something or live a way that he himself didn’t live.  He was showing me the way.  Guiding me.  Encouraging me.  There was no question that my dad shied away from, theological or otherwise.  It’s why today, I encourage my kids to ask.  Ask me questions.  Let’s talk about these world events and what’s wrong and what’s right and what’s our responsibility in all of it.  There’s nothing off limits.  Because of my dad’s willingness to endure the questions of a teenage girl, he was feeding the calling that would one day lay on her shoulders so heavy in a little house on the wrong side of the tracks. It has been heavy on me ever since.

Today, that calling is getting heavier and bigger with each passing moment.  I still don’t know fully how it’s going to all come to fruition.  But I do know that I will keep asking questions, and learning, and pushing, and asking the most important question of all, “what would Jesus do?”

The Pursuit of Happiness

“If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.

If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”  

90s on 9 on Sirius XM radio is one of those gifts that just keeps on giving.  Everyday that I listen, there’s always a song that comes on that brings memories or funny times, or just a really great song that I know every word.  This morning, on my way back from an appointment, I heard one of the 90s best artists, Sheryl Crow, sing some really poignant words from one of her songs. It was “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”  

As I processed these words by Sheryl, I began to process some things in my life and life of people I know and I started to think about some statements people have made about their own lives.  “I just want to be happy”, “I want you to be happy” “this is what makes me happy” Continuously people who are selfish will use that statement.  They’ll go on to say “I deserve to be happy” “you deserve to be happy”.  But ultimately the root of this well-wish of wanting someone to be happy is really a root of selfish motives or selfish ambition or just plain old self centeredness.  

I’ve seen time and time again marriages dissolve because of these statements.  I’ve seen multiple relationships crumble, even parent child relationships fall apart under the guise of wanting to be happy.  

I have bad news for my family and friends.  I don’t want what makes you happy.  Happy is temporary.  Happy is selfish.  Happy is a fleeting emotion that has no stickability and nothing about it last.  M and Ms can make me happy in the moment, then when the bag is gone, I’m not happy anymore.  A funny movie can make me happy, when the movie is over, the emotion is too.  Time and time again we see people literally give up their entire life over that one statement,
“I just want to be happy”

King David also wanted to be happy. He essentially gives up everything over something he wanted.  David thought Bathsheba was going to make him happy.  He was doing things that kings should not do.  He stayed home from war in the springtime and found himself bored and unhappy.  He sees what he thinks will make him happy, Bathsheba.  Suddenly, we end of up with a king who has committed adultery, murder, lied, and essentially destroyed a family with his desire to be happy.  King David suffers the ultimate when his decision to do what makes him happy ends in the consequence of losing a child.   

Happy isn’t where it’s at.  Happy is actually the opposite of where it’s at.  Paul tells us to have rejoice.  Nehemiah wrote that the joy of the Lord is our strength.  I can have a deep, bubbling joy in the midst of extreme hardship and trial.  Joy isn’t a fleeting emotion that is here one minute and gone the next, it is deep, it is of the Lord, it is lasting.  Happiness is not.  

If you pursue happiness, you will always be in pursuit.  Looking from one thing to another, from one relationship to the next, from one accomplishment to the next, from one addiction to the next addiction, from one dollar amount to the next dollar amount, it will never ever be enough.  You will always be in pursuit of happiness.  It is not lasting.  

So, back to the words of Sheryl Crow, if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.Gosh, she’s a liar.  Yeah, it can be that bad.  If it makes you happy it can destroy your family sometimes, it can destroy your life, it can end relationships, it can damage your children.  However, I do appreciate her question, why the hell are you so sad? 

Over and over we see people choose happiness over joy, choose happiness over real love, choose happiness or the pursuit over anything that a relationship with Jesus has to offer. Every time, when the high of the happy has worn off, they are sad.  We are sad.  The happy wears off and once again, we have to pursue the next happiness.

So, why are you so sad? Because there is no fulfillment, no joy.  The Holy Spirit is absent because in Him you will find fullness of joy.  It will not last unless it comes from the source of a relationship with Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit.  

If you’re in the pursuit of happiness, whatever you’re pursuing, I hope you get it.   But when it doesn’t bring what you want, or if you’re happy for a minute, the happiness will inevitably fade.  When the happiness fades, you’re going to be sad again.  

Let’s stop pursuing what makes us happy and start pursuing the Lord and his joy that is everlasting and that brings strength.  

“…, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10

“You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.” 

Psalm 16:11

“For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking; but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit”

Romans 14:17

I Feel Seen

I love personality tests.  I love seeing how my brain and the brains of others work.  Almost 2 years ago, my husband and I heard about Enneagram.  We took the test immediately and then while on our family vacation that year, we made all of our kids take it.  It has been so helpful in all of our relationships! Understanding how each one works, which reactions help, which reactions harm.  For me, it made me feel seen.  

That’s what we all want, right?  To be seen?  We want the world around us to understand us and see us.  We want to be known. We want our loved ones and those we interact with to really know us, to get us.  But do we really want to be seen?

Being seen makes us vulnerable.  If someone really sees us, then we can no longer hide behind our facade of what we want people to think.  If I’m seen, then I’m exposed.  We certainly don’t like to be exposed.

If anyone lived in this tension of wanting to be seen and wanting to hide, it was the Samaritan Woman Jesus met at the well.  As Jesus encounters her, she is hiding in plain sight.  She is at the well in the middle of the day.  This was the way for her to avoid being seen by the other women in the village to be mocked or more than likely, ignored.  There’s nothing worse than being in the presence of a crowd and being ignored.  But, Jesus shows up during her mundane chore of drawing water and her life changes forever.  

However, Jesus doesn’t show up with the preacher’s voice of “REPENT, THUS SAITH THE LORD!”  No, Jesus shows up to have a conversation.  They talk water, they talk belief systems, then as Jesus reveals who he is to her, he tells her everything she had ever done.  Jesus didn’t make a spectacle, it was just her and him.  In my mind, she must have collapsed to her knees with relief and shame.  Relieved that finally, someone sees her.  Finally, she isn’t ignored or shunned.  In the same breath, shame would shroud her.  What had she done?  And now this man was exposing it all.  He wasn’t exposing to condemn, he was exposing to accept.  

Today, do you feel seen?  The Enneagram is a great way to feel understood, but only  El Roi, “- The God who sees me”, can really make you be seen.  
13 She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: “You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen[a] the One who sees me.” – Genesis 16:13

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