“If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.
If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”
90s on 9 on Sirius XM radio is one of those gifts that just keeps on giving. Everyday that I listen, there’s always a song that comes on that brings memories or funny times, or just a really great song that I know every word. This morning, on my way back from an appointment, I heard one of the 90s best artists, Sheryl Crow, sing some really poignant words from one of her songs. It was “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad?”
As I processed these words by Sheryl, I began to process some things in my life and life of people I know and I started to think about some statements people have made about their own lives. “I just want to be happy”, “I want you to be happy” “this is what makes me happy” Continuously people who are selfish will use that statement. They’ll go on to say “I deserve to be happy” “you deserve to be happy”. But ultimately the root of this well-wish of wanting someone to be happy is really a root of selfish motives or selfish ambition or just plain old self centeredness.
I’ve seen time and time again marriages dissolve because of these statements. I’ve seen multiple relationships crumble, even parent child relationships fall apart under the guise of wanting to be happy.
I have bad news for my family and friends. I don’t want what makes you happy. Happy is temporary. Happy is selfish. Happy is a fleeting emotion that has no stickability and nothing about it last. M and Ms can make me happy in the moment, then when the bag is gone, I’m not happy anymore. A funny movie can make me happy, when the movie is over, the emotion is too. Time and time again we see people literally give up their entire life over that one statement,
“I just want to be happy”
King David also wanted to be happy. He essentially gives up everything over something he wanted. David thought Bathsheba was going to make him happy. He was doing things that kings should not do. He stayed home from war in the springtime and found himself bored and unhappy. He sees what he thinks will make him happy, Bathsheba. Suddenly, we end of up with a king who has committed adultery, murder, lied, and essentially destroyed a family with his desire to be happy. King David suffers the ultimate when his decision to do what makes him happy ends in the consequence of losing a child.
Happy isn’t where it’s at. Happy is actually the opposite of where it’s at. Paul tells us to have rejoice. Nehemiah wrote that the joy of the Lord is our strength. I can have a deep, bubbling joy in the midst of extreme hardship and trial. Joy isn’t a fleeting emotion that is here one minute and gone the next, it is deep, it is of the Lord, it is lasting. Happiness is not.
If you pursue happiness, you will always be in pursuit. Looking from one thing to another, from one relationship to the next, from one accomplishment to the next, from one addiction to the next addiction, from one dollar amount to the next dollar amount, it will never ever be enough. You will always be in pursuit of happiness. It is not lasting.
So, back to the words of Sheryl Crow, if it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad.Gosh, she’s a liar. Yeah, it can be that bad. If it makes you happy it can destroy your family sometimes, it can destroy your life, it can end relationships, it can damage your children. However, I do appreciate her question, why the hell are you so sad?
Over and over we see people choose happiness over joy, choose happiness over real love, choose happiness or the pursuit over anything that a relationship with Jesus has to offer. Every time, when the high of the happy has worn off, they are sad. We are sad. The happy wears off and once again, we have to pursue the next happiness.
So, why are you so sad? Because there is no fulfillment, no joy. The Holy Spirit is absent because in Him you will find fullness of joy. It will not last unless it comes from the source of a relationship with Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit.
If you’re in the pursuit of happiness, whatever you’re pursuing, I hope you get it. But when it doesn’t bring what you want, or if you’re happy for a minute, the happiness will inevitably fade. When the happiness fades, you’re going to be sad again.
Let’s stop pursuing what makes us happy and start pursuing the Lord and his joy that is everlasting and that brings strength.
“…, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Nehemiah 8:10
“You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence.”
Psalm 16:11
“For the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking; but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit”
Romans 14:17
