Somehow every time I start to type I envision this is my Jerry Maguire moment. My words will pierce, find life on the screens of those that ingest them like warm chocolate chip cookies. In truth, often they seem to land like a crunchy oatmeal raisin. Not well loved, have a small but loyal fan base, without the fanfare of the chocolate chip.
So here is more oatmeal raisins.
I fight the monster who lives inside my mind. I will give him a name to make him more relatable. Let’s call him Roger. Roger in my mind looks like Zach Galifianakis from ”The Hangover.“ He has lots of things to say and no real wisdom. He is part big brother with sucker punches in the back and part movie critic that finds something wrong with even your best work. And Roger works overtime.
I love what I do in light of the calling. I love to write. I love to preach. I love to mentor. I love to host the podcast. In those snapshots of life I feel most alive. In those moments of life Roger seems to shut his pie hole. It is the moments when the lights go down, the recording stops, the post is published that this internal critic does his best work.
“Check Jeff to see who read it. I bet they disagree with you.”
“How many people listened to that episode. Wow, you are not as successful as you thought.”
“No one responded. Well, maybe God liked your message.”
Roger is, well, a word we will not use on this blog. At the same time, Roger has been a long time traveling companion. Every time I have tried to move away from him, he has stalked me to that new location.
It is a true Fight Club moment. If you have not seen the movie Spoiler Alert. It is in the final scenes you find out that Edward Norton’s character and Brad Pitt’s character are really the same person. All along he has been fighting himself. All along, I have been fighting me.
There are no haters. If so, they do not post or respond to my blog, the podcast, or my sermons. In truth, I have never needed them. The hater inside my head has always been loud enough.
So I have to fight Roger. I have to fight myself.
Jesus tells a story in the gospel of Luke about a person that has been cleansed of an evil spirit. He says the spirit searches for some place to go. When it is unable to find a place of rest it returns to the person to find the house swept clean, put in order and empty. This spirit returns and brings with it 7 more evil spirits. The point Jesus is making is until something else resided in the house Roger will always be welcomed back. In time, Roger returns with friends.
Roger has to be removed and replaced. When haunting thoughts would invade I used to just try to clear my mind. This simply left my mind swept clean and open for Roger and his friends to throw a house party of negativity in my mind. The Rogers of our thought life have to be kicked out and replaced.
The apostle Paul writes these words that can operate as an instead. Instead of Roger and his lies think on these things:
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of respect, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if something is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things. And what you learned and received and heard and saw in me, do these things. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:8-9 NET
Roger has to be replaced with true, noble, worthy, pure, lovely, excellent, praiseworthy truths. It is not enough to simply to quit thinking the negative thoughts, they have to be replaced. The glorious outcome of replacing Roger is that “the God of peace will be with you.” When you move Roger out, God moves in. When you kick out the negative, corrupt thoughts, the whispers of Holy Spirit moves in calling you loved, worthy, child. Holy Spirit replaces Roger. Holy Spirit becomes a constant companion who sticks closer than a brother.
It is hard to let go of the familiar voices of negativity, yet it is the only way to peace. Peace has a price, it will cost you the comfort of the familiar voice of the critic to hear the good shepherd call your name. It is the price for peace.
Everyone once in a while Roger tries to come by and visit. In weakness, I have let him back in. Yet, I have learned if I want true peace of mind, I have to keep Roger replaced with the voice of heaven who calls me son.
