“Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Psalms 37:3-4 NIV
The early 1990’s had a flavor all their own. It was a collision course of athletic apparel and hip hop dance gear. Which made perfect sense to my 13 year old fashion sense. I had two real desires of life: 1) a pair of black Z. Cavaricci pants and 2) this slick satin University of Illinois Starter Jacket.
Z. Cavaricci and Starter became the envy of hallways of Junior High. The high waisted dance pants with the white label with black letters over the fly was a mark of status. The slick satin jacket or trendy pullover half zip was on sidelines and dugouts dawned by professional athletes. These were the treasured items of 7th grade. These two articles of clothing would elevate social status to stratosphere’s only hoped for…at least that is what I was telling my parents.
Like most teens I was in pleading mode. These were the only two items I wanted. They would count as birthday and Christmas combined, for the next three years. I was desperate. These were the desires of my heart.
That Christmas I got a jacket. It is not the one pictured. It was an off-brand of Starter. Instead of “Illinois” it simply said “Illini”. Instead of slick satin. It was a matte blue. The sleeve lacked the signature “S”. For three glorious weeks, I wore it proud.
One afternoon as I went to my wrestling meet (yes, I wrestled. We will save that story for another time) that wonderful imposter of a Starter jacket was stolen. I was crushed, devastated, embarrassed, angry, and a hundred other emotions all at the same time.
Envy is a funny emotion. Envy is what lead me to desire the jacket in the first place. Envy is jealousy uglier sister. Jealousy says “I want what you have.” Envy claims “If I cannot have it, I do not want you to have it either.” My desires for the sacred satin coat lead me to envy others in their bright Red Bull’s or Blue Cubs jacket. Envy roared like waves on an ocean stirred by a storm.
Envy is formed by letting what someone else has become a defined desire that you believe you deserve. Unfounded “I deserves” lead to creating shortcuts to get what it is you desire and what you believe is yours. Envy of someone else led to the unsolved mystery of an off-brand Starter jacket.
Like most trends, times changed. Z. Cavaricci is hard to find, if in business at all. Starter moved from the sidelines of NFL and dugouts of MLB to the clearance rack at Wal-Mart. The very things that were my deep desires changed. Desires are not a bad thing, if those desires are founded on what God has placed in your heart.
I have often despised the verse listed at the header of this blog. It leads to immature questions like “God how come I never got my Z. Cavaricci jeans?” That is a desire, yet a somewhat silly request of the Lord. God-size desires are built around him getting the glory. God-size desires are bigger than our capacity to accomplish them. God-size desires are no self-serving wants of the trapping of life.
This is why the psalm writer challenges us to first trust in the Lord. If the dream or desire was something we could achieve in our own efforts, there would be no need for us to trust in the Lord. We would simply need to trust in ourselves, in our own abilities, our own efforts. God shifts our desires. Sure, I might like to own a throwback 90’s Starter jacket, but God has placed bigger desires in my heart. It is a trust in his capacity to amplify our capability to deliver desires that lie deep inside of us.
Honest confession: I have wrestled desires like planting a church. Desires to start a young adult conference bent toward discipleship and growing gifts. I have desires to see lost people come to Jesus. I have desires to see a generation love Jesus, his Word, and being full of his Spirits. Those are a long way from Z. Cavaricci and Starter. Those wants were never his promises. The God-given desires are desires I need to trust God to perform.
All his promises to us are yes and amen. The great struggle of God-given desires attached to God’s promises is that they do not come with expiration dates. So as David wrote to the readers of Psalm 37:
Be still, wait patiently.
Wait confidently.
All is his promises are still yes and amen.
