“The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their HOPE in His unfailing love.”
Psalm 147:11
That seems all there was to hold onto at the end of 2018, as the calendar flipped to 2019. The previous year had been filled with celebrations of God’s goodness and sucker punches of loss that brought us to our knees. The word surprise can usher in blessings but can also bring with it hurt and heartbreak. In 2018, we were surprised by both.
So as we completed another trip around the sun, our family needed a word to hold on to. As has become a tradition, Rachael and I pick a verse and an accompanying word for that verse. Overwhelmingly, the word we needed was HOPE. As with seemingly every year we pick a verse and word to guide us on our journey, it acts as a nearly prophetic indicator of not what will show up, but more what we will need most in the coming season.
In 2017, we choose the word “intentional”. It was the year we had to make bold, brave, and intentional choices in order to see the promises of God in our life.
In 2018, the word was “dispel”. Rachael and I overwhelming felt as though we needed light to push back the darkness. Darkness was an ever present foe. Yet, the light of the Jesus was fighting for us. His light won some wars we could not fight alone.
After a year of fighting back darkness, we needed the Lord to be a light and hopefully, make our load light. To illuminate our year we chose “hope”. Hopelessness hit as hard and heavyweight boxer with the passing of my mother-in-law suddenly. Moments of despair swept in as we continued to walk through heartbreak and loss.
Author Brene Brown says “hope is a form of struggle.” We forged ahead into the struggle. We celebrated as our oldest graduated high school and our youngest finished elementary school. 2019 brought hope that the two turning 16 would pass their driver’s test. With fingers crossed and season of prayer, the state of Tennessee says they are fit to drive on their own. There were heights of days spent at the beach, day trips to Dollywood, and Thursday night and Friday night football games. All Instagram worthy moments.
Then comes the moments that never get posted. A family walking through loss. Lots of transition of life stages with their own set of challenges. Prayers prayed and petitioned seemingly without answer. Making a tough choice to leave a church that meant so much to us, but knowing that it was a step we needed to take to move closer to the calling God had for Rachael and I.
In light of what seemed like never ending days, the year sped by quickly. God often answers our prayers in very unexpected ways. I remember a February morning pleading with God in ink on the pages of my journal that he would bring me to mind of anyone. I felt like a ship lost at sea in so many ways. The glow of a blue iMessage from my friend Rob showed up two hours later with the words “Bro, we need to talk.” That lunch conversation shifted many things. What we believed to be a book turned into The Collectives Co. Podcast. The intrigue of the Lord is 20 years ago, prior to attending Lee University, I worked at the college radio station at Illinois State. Just proof that nothing gets wasted with God.
My wife, with much passion, asked God to move her from the classroom. Again, how we expect God to work never seems to be how he writes the script. An opportunity came for her to teach online from home. What seemed like a good opportunity, spun into a God opportunity. The Lord often works like Congress, he will piggy back something unexpected onto something completely different. In the midst of the application process to the online school, my father-in-law had a relatively normal medical procedure, but he needed a driver. So we chauffeured him to the appointment and went to a local Mexican restaurant for lunch. A chance encounter with a friend of a friend led to that pork possibility on the online teaching position. God gives double to the faithful. So not only did Rachael move out of the classroom, but we have been blessed for her to have the opportunity to be part-time faculty at Lee University observing TESOL student teachers.
I know, I know. This is far beyond the cute, quick 500 words I normally post, but I wanted to document all this maybe not so much for you, but also for me. Hope is often hard to see in the day to day. Hope can be hard to find the minutia of parenting and pastoring. Yet, we found hope.
I cannot tell you all the things the Lord has done and is doing. Some of those things are yet to fully be birthed, but I know this much, the Lord has given us HOPE.
