Jeff speaking at Thrive Church in Lexington, KY.
Plans and Pathes
“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps.”
~Proverbs 16:9
You may not need it, but here it is: You have permission to plan.
I am persistent wonderer of God’s plan for my life. Page after page of prayer journals are littered with the ever pressing question of what is God’s plan for my life. It has seemed like I have been always asking God to write the script and direct the stage scenes of my life. And in some ways the play seems to stay unwritten.
Then I was struck by these words from King Solomon: “a man’s heart plans his way…” This is where my pen on the page hit pause and my thinking for nearly 39 years about God’s plan for my life for stalled. I have permission to plan, but my plan has to be consistent with his path.
While I was spending my life like Mikey on a One Eyed Willies Goonie’s Hunt in search of God’s plan for my life, always looking for another clue, God was giving me permission to plan.
Here is the thing I have learned: the planning starts in the heart. My plan can only be in line with God’s path for my life if my heart is in place of being connected to his heart.
My 7 year old dream and plan was to play second base for the Chicago Cubs. It was a great plan. I planned on wearing number #7. I planned on living in a Brownstone in Wrigleyville and walking to the ballpark. I was planning on retiring after 17 years, 13 All-Stars seasons, 2 World Series rings and a Hall of Fame career. That plan never happened. In part because I couldn’t hit a curve ball and because his path for my life did not lead to second base at Wrigley.
My heart is to speak and communicate. Amazingly enough the path I find myself on most days is steps leading that way. My heart and plan is connect to his heart and his determines the steps of my path.
That same wise king also penned these words: “Commit to the Lord whatever you do and he will establish (or set firm) your plans”.
God grants us the permission to plan, yet he sets us on the path to that plan. We have one more responsibility in this: complete surrender of that plan to him. It is the highest level of trust when we take what we hold most tightly to and loosen our grip and place into his hands.
So plan…dream…design…but know his will set your feet on the path.
Costly…
“a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume”
Matthew 26:7
Admittedly, I don’t own much of great value. No Picasso paintings are portrayed on my walls. The only thing from the Ming family is the empty fried rice box in the trash. The Italian in my wardrobe is courtesy of the Olive Garden stain on my favorite button up. So in a lot of ways I have a hard time connecting to this woman who brought something that quite possibly was a years worth of salary. Google informs me that the average median US salary is somewhere just north of $50,000.
Great day that’s a lot of cheddar to pour out in one place!
For some reason, I think the dad in me saw this passage in a new light. Most nights my hands find those of smaller than mind to hold while we whisper prayers into the night. Now granted this little precious pedal allows daddy to hold her hands while we pray. Her older brothers insist on not, but the reminder was the same for all three. The items of greatest value in my life are those that hold my hand back.
As father it was like the God tied an ACME anvil around my heart and dropped it off cliff in an attempt to crush the RoadRunner as I read those words again. I realized it was not about Picasso paintings, fast sports cars and even international apparel. It was about something that our hands hold that are most valuable to us. To me it is those three lives that share my DNA and my address.
I came face to face with the question: “am I willing to put them at the feet of Jesus?”.
I know those of you who are better believers than me this is a no brainer. But for the fellow strugglers like me take this road with me. This woman took what was of greatest value to her and poured it out on Jesus. What she held tightly to she had to let go of.
This seems to throw itself in the line of fire of my dad thinking. It is the belief that these are my kids to love and hold and squeeze and raise. My hands are the hands that will do all this. And this woman, who I may or not have been a mom, took something of such great cost and poured it out on Jesus. And that is where the car crash of my heart happens. You have to let them go.
Christ is asking me as a dad to lay my kids at his feet. What I hold with such value is the cost I have to pay as a dad. It is an act of surrender and submission. It is position of placing what is of such great value as the cost of my heart’s condition.
What is is really a question of is the same question asked of Abraham: “are you willing to hold nothing back from me even your kids?” God has placed three alabaster jars in my hands that are of incredible value. The only way they can be of the best use to him is to poured out into their purposes. They find that at the feet of Jesus.
So mom and dad, as difficult as it is, we must take our little jars of great worth and pay the cost of putting them at the feet of Jesus. It will cost us everything, but return a value that is world changing!
Being Dad is Not Enough
He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents;
Malachi 4:6
Cue Michael Buffer and let’s get ready to rumble: so let me introduce you to Andrew, Isaac and Avery. These three little loves dominate my TV and pantry. They are my life, my heartbeat and the thorn in my side some days. They take more than they give, primarily in the form of money and hot water. They find ways to steal covers and my heart. And have this wicked power to melt me like a Popsicle in the heat of summer with the words “I love you dad.”
Within God’s crazy sense of humor he issued the responsibility to me to be given the title of “Dad”. In truth, I probably had a role in creating that but that is a whole different post about parenting conversations. Nevertheless, it is a huge responsibility that at no point have I ever taken lightly. I have relished in the role of fatherhood.
I have come to this place where being dad is not enough.
Anyone can be a father, it simply takes the right tools. But being a dad is different dynamic.
What I realize is that I do a pretty dang good job of being a dad to Andrew, Avery and Isaac. I do the things dads do. I make sticky spaghetti, show up to games and school events, say bedtime prayers, and make really bad dad jokes. What I also know is that I won’t be there only dad.
And I am okay with that. In fact I welcome it. And here is why.
At 21 you know everything, at least I did. At 24 you start to realize you know nothing. Between 21 and 24 where a handful of great men to teach me that I everything I thought I knew I never knew at all. None of them shared my address or even my DNA. But each of them shared their heart with me.
They took the stubborn clay of my heart and life and shaped it into a man. Their words chiseled my character. Their teachings split the old foundations and laid a new one.
This was my introduction into being a dad in a way I did not ever realize was necessary.
My belief is even the best dads need help along the way. And that is why God gives spiritual fathers (and mothers). These are the men God will put in the pathway of my kids to intersect their journey with echoes of my voice. These dad come in the form of coaches, youth pastors, teachers, professors, pastors. They will lovingly guide, direct, speak and encourage them in the times I cannot.
To the men my kids will never call dad but see as dads. Thank you in advance for spiritual making a difference in their life like the my “dads” did.
Because being dad sometimes is not enough.
JustbeingJeff
