Look at how a single candle can both defy and define the darkness.” ~ Anne Frank
My Gran would call me into correction anytime I used the word “hate”. I could not “hate” broccoli, just dislike it greatly. Hate was a word reserved for one thing, sin. According to Gran, we dislike everything, we hated sin.
I lived with one exception to Gran’s linguistic lesson, I hated sin and I hated the darkness. Not the lack of light in a room, but the lack light in the soul. The kind of darkness that drives a man to the edge of places he never thought he would go and never let anyone know he was there. Darkness was a foe a fought, until darkness becomes a friend.
Gratitude is a unique emotion, especially when it is stacked next to darkness of life.
It is only in the darkness the sparkle of stars shine against the black backdrop of a night sky. It is only in the darkness that what was seen is no longer seen, but what was unseen is finally revealed. It is only in the darkness.
My season in the darkness was fraught with things I never would have chosen to face. Yet, in retrospect, I can say I am thankful for coming through the darkness, but also the time in the darkness.
So I am thankful the darkness of divorce. I am grateful for dank cellar of depression. I am immensely thankful for the seasons that have no explanation or language other than a sense of dark, a near death emotion. For in the darkness of the valley, you (the Lord) walked with me in the shadow of death. It was not on the other side of the valley that I found the Lord. It was when I crested to the peak of the summit, climbing out of the shadows of the dark valley that I realized he was with me all along.
So while yes, I am thankful to walk out of the cave of my life, I am thankful for it. For it was in the darkness, the Lord was present. For it was because of the darkness, I could shed the mask of pretending to be everyone I was not. For it was because of the damp, dark places of life that I found freedom from the shackles of shame. While all along I was fighting the darkness as a foe, the darkness was serving as a teacher, a guide of sorts to show me who I was not. In the middle of the reminders of who I was never created to be, I found a God who was with me, reminding that who I am created to be.
Darkness, thank you. Thank you for teaching me that the man I thought I was, I was never intended to be. Thank you for teaching me to be the man that walks in the light as he is in the light. Thank you.
