Rush a Club, don’t rush a marriage

Tap night.  Some of you may have no idea about this lovely, time-honored tradition at some colleges.  The college I attended had a particularly brutal system that had stone-faced club members walk by throngs of eager students who had “rushed”, or shown interest in being part of their club.  These who had rushed were waiting to see if they would be chosen.  If they had what it took to actually be accepted into this club.

For 3 semesters, I stood by one of my dearest friends to await her being tapped in to a club.  The club she wanted to join would walk right in front of us, repeatedly.  As if taunting that she was next.  For 3 semesters, I walked home with a friend in tears when it became evident it wasn’t her semester to be chosen.  As a matter of fact, she was never chosen.  It was no reflection of who she was, because she was wonderful.  She wanted them to accept her, but eventually realized, that wasn’t necessary for her life.

I had another dear friend who rushed and was tapped.  Oh the elation!  It was like being crowned Miss America.  However, this friend realized that maybe the club wasn’t for her after all and she walked out of the induction process and never fully became a member.

I never rushed a club, I chose to rush a marriage.

In the spring semester of my junior year, one of the clubs had shown interest in me.  I’d talked with the president and had several friends in the club.  I was almost guaranteed a spot.  I also had a boyfriend and he was about to graduate so what else to do but discuss marriage.  I was faced with what I felt was a big decision.  Continue on this college journey, delay engagement and rush the club or get married?  I chose to get married.

Of course hindsight is 20/20.  I can look back after divorce and all the heartache endured and think, I should have never gotten married.  You know what, I’m right.  I should have rushed the club, skipped the engagement.  Guaranteed that boyfriend and I would have broken up (again) by late spring.

If I’d rushed the club, I’d at least have a set function to go to during homecoming weekend.

I say all this almost tongue-in-cheek, but there is truth.  I didn’t need to get married.  I didn’t need to rush a club.  My eagerness to put my life on fast-forward fed some bad decisions.  The older I’ve gotten, the more I realize God has seasons to life.  There are seasons that seem to last forever and seasons that seem to pass in a blink.  Don’t rush the season you’re in.  God may have something spectacular in that season, if you’ll just wait it out and let him determine when it’s complete.

So if you’re looking to rush something along, make sure it’s not a life altering decision.  Rush the club, not a marriage.

 “For everything there is a season, and a time for every ^[a]purpose under heaven” -Ecclesiastes 3:1