Sometimes I hate my type 2.
~Me, in the Music City
I am literally sitting in one of the coolest coffee shops the Music City has to offer debating who may or may not be famous, I amfighting off the guilt that I am here alone. It is a ridiculous emotion, I realize. Yet, there is one lesson I seem to own more than any other in my personality as Enneagram Type 2, my wants do not matter.
(If you are unfamiliar with the Enneagram, then go over here to my friend Beth’s site and take the test. Be warned, it is like looking at yourself in the mirror.)
So with an entire day to myself in my favorite city on the planet, I sat in the bed of my hotel room frozen with guilt and indecision that Nashville was my oyster and I could not choose what to do just for me. Which lead to the statement at the opener, “Sometimes, I hate my type 2.”
A type 2 on the Enneagram is the helper. Which fits my personhood like a tight t-shirt on a worship pastor, very revealing. If you spend 10 minutes in my presence the very word “help” will find it’s way into our conversation. It is not intentional, it is just the hardwiring of the Creator that placed the desire and bend in me. Which is not a bad thing. It turns dangerous when I lean too heavily into helping in order to get my emotional cup filled. It is in these moments that leaves me lacking in capacity to choose me.
I am guilty of the “I don’t cares”. Even you’re a two, you know what I mean. You don’t care where you eat. You don’t care what you see. You don’t care where you go. As long as it makes someone else happy. But in truth, sometimes we do care. Sometimes as a TWO, we need to care. It is a dangerous trap that I can get into waiting either patiently or impatiently for someone to guess what my need or desire is, than effort to meet it.
So in an effort to be a healthier two, I am in Crema (as recommended by Los Whit, who I consider a friend since he was on my podcast). I am sitting here tapping out these words on the keyboard to my iPad. Maybe in part to help you, but mostly to help me. Next who knows where my road will lead, but today I am driving and choosing for me.
What’s your type?
