Tucked back somewhere between the middle of nowhere and yander, my grandparents built a house a stones throw from my great-grandmother’s farm ground. We would spend most summers in that place in the years before driver’s license and summer jobs. My brother and I, both being all-American teenage boys, would lure my grandfather into buying us bottle rockets for the 4th of July. Looking back, there may not have been as much arm twisting as I remember.
On a one hot, sticky summer night, Craig, the neighbor boy Tony, and I loaded down a glass Strawberry Faygo bottle with an entire pack of bottle rockets. Armed with a trigger lighter, Craig, the oldest, moved in to ignite the entire pack of wicks creating a storm of bursting bottle rockets in the sky. My older, braver brother pulled the trigger, set ablaze, China’s finest fireworks and we watched the sizzle of the fuse. Like watching a movie in slow motion, we watched the bottle tip over and land at nearly perfect 30 degree angle. Too late to redirect the ammunition meant to light up the July night, we dove behind a little ravine and watched the entire pack take aim at the back screen door of my grandparents house.
As only young boys to do, we laughed and feared for our life. All the while one by one the fireworks banged and burst against the closed sliding glass door. That ended our fireworks display that night, as we laid on the damp, dewy grass and laughed, waiting to see if my grandfather hollered out the back door.
To our surprise, not a word was ever spoken of the attack on my grandparent’s home that night. Which makes me think, maybe some attacks are not worth the energy required to fight back. Some of the shots taken at us maybe were never meant for us at all. It is quite possible, someone’s glass Faygo bottle of fury just got tipped over and we were in the way of the firing off of the fireworks.
Obviously, my grandparents knew we would never intentionally take aim at their house with bottle rockets. So I am sure my Gran hand on hip would have just fussed at us boys to be more careful next time, but never a word was said.
So before you light the fuse of retaliation ask yourself these questions:
1) Was that really aimed at me?
Unfortunately, sometimes we are just the one that is in the way. So before you take ownership what has blasted in your face, ask yourself or even that person, was that anger really meant for me or someone or something else?
2) Is lighting my own fuse worth the fight?
Some things are worth fighting for, other things are not. Discern what is worth the fight. An angry social media follower mad at your selection of shoes, probably not worth your time. What may be a close friend, a sibling, a significant other, probably is worth fighting for but not against. Make sure you understand the difference. Fighting for is an aim to bring understanding and reconciliation. Fighting against is an aim to simply be right.
3) What did Jesus did?
Yes, I know it is terrible English. Yet, what he did was offer grace and forgiveness. Not only did he teach turn the other cheek, he lived it. Jesus, in the darkest moments of being beaten, spit on, ridiculed, cursed at, having his beard pulled out, never raised a hand or a word. Instead, light the sky up with grace, love, and forgiveness. Before you blow up on someone, attempt to find the strength to extend grace.
Don’t just blow up. Think, pray, then respond. It is rarely worth lighting your fuse for the fight.
